The Church has been careful to preserve these customs when possible. The Council of Trent declared: “If any regions follow other praiseworthy customs and ceremonies when celebrating the sacrament of marriage, the Council earnestly desires that by all means these be retained” (Session XXIV, De matrimonio). Due to this variety of national customs, the liturgical sources for the sacrament of matrimony also tend to be more scarce than for other aspects of the Church’s liturgical life. Some texts are present in the Leonine Sacramentary, attributed to Pope St. Leo the Great (440-461). Additional texts, with French influences, are found in the Gelasian Sacramentary (VI-VII century), as well as in the Gregorian Sacramentary, sent by Pope Adrian I (771-795) to Charlemagne. Beyond these, scholars must turn to glimpses from the Church Fathers and from extant texts of various local rituals. Based on all of these, one can trace an outline of marriage customs and ceremonies from the ancient Greco-Roman world, through the fourth to tenth centuries, into the mediaeval period and to the present day.
For both Greeks and Romans, two family ceremonies took place: betrothal and marriage. The heads of the families would meet to agree on the betrothal, the formalities of the marriage, and the dowry. In the Roman Empire, the agreement (stipulatio) was a firm contract, and was itself celebrated with family festivities. The betrothal took place with a simple question to the youths (Spondesne? Spondeo—Do you pledge? I pledge), the joining of their hands (dexterarum coniunctio), and the conferral of a ring. Held some time later, the marriage celebration itself was naturally more exuberant, but the formalities associated with the marriage contract had already taken place with the betrothal. Thus, the marriage day was essentially a festive commencement of marital life by the newlyweds, and celebrated by the whole clan.
Amongst the Greeks, a banquet was held at which the spouses would appear crowned. Afterwards, the bride would be led by her father, with a torchlight procession, to the house of the groom’s family. There the bride would be crowned again with symbols of fertility (figs, dates, etc.) and she and the groom would process around the hearth and into the bridal chamber.
Amongst the Romans, the young bride would wear a simple white tunic tied with a cord, and a particular flame-red bridal veil (flammeum). A banquet would be held in the bride’s home, under the charge of a steward (architriclinus), during which the newlyweds would eat of a wheat cake together as a sign of marital union, seated on two special seats and wearing floral crowns, with a common veil held above them (the veiling, or velatio nuptialis). Afterwards, there was a spectacular procession to the groom’s house at the conclusion of which he would carry the bride over the threshold, loosen the cord of her tunic, and all would withdraw.
By and large, Catholics of the early centuries adhered to these customs, and the primary ecclesiastico-juridical act concerned the exchange of consent as described. St. Ambrose wrote simply, “The contract entered into by the spouses constitutes a marriage” (De institutione virginum. “Facit coniugium pactio coniugalis”). Obviously, many similar customs shine through in the Gospels: the betrothal vs. the wedding—consider Our Lady and St. Joseph during this interval—the wedding banquets and garments, the torchlight processions where the wise virgins had their lamps, and the abundant references to Our Lord as the bridegroom Who comes to lead us into His wedding banquet, that is, into the beatific vision.
With the vows of consent remaining fundamental to the contract of marriage, and social customs still prevailing for the festivities, the Church in addition endeavored to confer copious blessings. These are primarily upon the bride due to her role in childbearing, as this constitutes the primary raison d’être of the union being contracted. These were initially conferred at different points in the ceremonies, whether during the veiling of the couple, the crowning (in the East), at the joining of hands, or at the bridal chamber (in thalamo), but eventually the nuptial blessing would be given in the context of the Nuptial Mass.
The Leonine Sacramentary provides a blessing for the couple under the title of Velatio nuptialis (nuptial veiling), with veiling being the predominant custom at both Rome and Milan (Ambrosian Rite). The titles in the Gelasian and Gregorian Sacramentaries are respectively Actio nuptialis (nuptial action) and Orationes ad sponsas velandas (prayers for veiling brides). This nuptial blessing was sung according to the preface tone, just as the ordination prayers, and the blessing of fonts and sacred chrism. It placed before the bride the examples of the Old Testament matriarchs and invoked the blessing of God for her fruitfulness. It was sung after the Pater noster, and during this blessing a special nuptial veil would be placed on the bride, which in later years became a larger veil either extended above or placed upon both bride and groom. The Gelasian Sacramentary adds a special prayer for both bride and groom after Communion. The Gregorian Sacramentary amplifies the nuptial blessing, proclaiming that neither Original Sin nor the Deluge abolished the blessing of God upon the union of man and woman, that the institution of marriage is ordered to the propagation of the human race (quibus propagationem generis humani ordinasti), and that it forms an indissoluble bond. In addition, these sacramentaries include a special preface and Hanc igitur for the nuptial Mass. In many places, the Mass formulary itself, apart from these prayers, was a Votive Mass of the Blessed Trinity.
In order to make the contracting of marriage more public—perhaps due to difficulties of private or clandestine marriages, later resolved by the Council of Trent—the “home” betrothal and “church” nuptials became fused together, so that the consent, joining of hands, and conferral of ring all took place in a public setting, that being at the door of the church (in facie ecclesiae), and immediately before the Nuptial Mass. The conferral of the ring took on a greater significance, and it was specially blessed. Traditionally the groom would give a ring to the bride as a symbol of Christ making a covenant with his Spouse the Church (a symbolism especially extolled by St. Paul), but it is clear that both spouses are bound by this covenant. The ring itself has a special name in some places, e.g., in France the alliance (pact) and in Italy the fede (faith). Along with the ring, the groom gave a monetary token (instrumentum dotale), a silver or gold coin, as evidence of his conjugal goodwill. The laws of the Holy Roman Empire even required this act by the groom. This practice in many places later disappeared, while being retained in a few places. The ceremony at the door of the church was later transported into the church itself, where the spouses now marry before the altar. The Roman Ritual of Paul V (1614), in current use, enriches the blessing of the priest upon the spouses in context with the exchange of their consent, and adds in particular the words of the priest confirming the bond, Ego coniungo vos.
Thus far the West. In the East, the marriage rite is called the Office of Crowning and retains the ancient Greek customs. The formula of the Byzantine crowning of the spouses is: “N., the servant of God, receives as his crown, N., the servant of God,” which is repeated for the bride, after which they process around the Gospel-stand in a brilliant ritual.
It is a hallowed union. The original union of man and woman, blessed by God from Adam and Eve, was raised to a higher dignity, even that of a Sacrament, by our Divine Savior at Cana. As a young man and woman come before the altar of God to enter this new state in life, they are the recipients of an invisible cascade of His blessings upon their union. As the Armenian Ritual puts it: “The witness to these words [of consent] is the God who is enthroned invisibly above this altar.” This blessed covenant is also a foreshadowing of eternal life, the union of Christ and His Bride the Church, and His union as Bridegroom with the soul. The Syrian Rite of marriage eloquently points to this mystical dimension of Matrimony: “Make us worthy, O God, to share the joy of Thy endless feast, the unfailing gladness of Thy bridal chamber, the happiness of Thy banquet that is not limited by time.”